‘My Holiday, My Way’: How to Thrive Alone During the Festive Season
Holidays are often synonymous with getting together with family and friends, sharing laughter and creating memories. But sometimes, the pressure to join these gatherings can be overwhelming, especially if circumstances keep you from attending.
Whether it’s a personal choice, a matter of distance or even conflicts with family dynamics, it’s important to know that it’s perfectly okay not to participate in every festive event. While the world around you might be buzzing with holiday cheer, you shouldn’t feel compelled to conform to traditions that don’t resonate with your current situation.
Being alone during the holidays can indeed feel lonely for some, but it’s also an opportunity to explore what the holidays mean for you and how you can celebrate in your own way.
Here are a few strategies, as shared by mental health professionals in recent interviews with CNN, to help you make the most of a solo holiday season.
Go Outside
Have you ever tried forest bathing? I bet you already have, even if you didn’t know it had a name!
Picture this: you’re wandering through a lush green park or hiking trail, surrounded by towering trees, the sunlight filtering through the leaves and the air filled with the earthy scent of nature. That feeling of calm and connection? That’s forest bathing, or “Shinrin-yoku,” a Japanese practice of immersing yourself in the natural environment to boost your mental and physical well-being.
It isn’t necessarily about hiking or exercising; it’s more about slowing down, taking deep breaths and really soaking in Mother Nature’s sights, sounds and smells.
Not only does this natural immersion help you unwind, but according to a recent study published in JAMA Network Open, it is also linked to fewer depressive symptoms.
‘Zoom in’ on the Festivities
You can still join in on the fun even if you can’t celebrate in person. Dr. Bryant Williams, a psychologist from New York, suggests that you should connect with others by making a phone or video call.
Try something “similar to what people did during the pandemic, when [they] were so isolated,” he said. “People, because they weren’t spending time with each other in person, started spending a lot of time on Zoom.”
Social experiences are crucial for your health, so making time for them can boost your well-being. Specifically, connect with loved ones who uplift you, as positive social interactions are associated with better coping skills and reduced stress, according to research.
Volunteer
“There’s all sorts of structured activities that people can engage in when they’re spending time with other people, even strangers, and they’re doing something thoughtful and nice for them,” Williams said.
“If someone takes action, they get outside of themselves, then they’re thinking about other people. People generally feel better when that happens.”
Indulge in Something Extra Yummy
Holidays often evoke sweet memories, like the warm aroma of grandma’s peach cobbler wafting through the kitchen. Diana Winston, director of UCLA Mindful, the mindfulness education center at UCLA Health, suggests treating yourself to a delightful meal, whether you whip up a special dish, indulge in some takeout or order from your favorite restaurant.
The key is to create a moment that feels good to you. You can decide to keep it simple with comfort food or go all out and make something fancy. What truly matters is that your meal brings you joy and warmth. After all, food has a unique way of connecting us to memories and feelings, so seize the chance to savor something delicious, and perhaps, even recreate that peach cobbler magic in your own kitchen!
Engage in Your Own Traditions
Holiday rituals and enjoyable family traditions are key to celebrating and you might be feeling their absence during this season. Williams suggests, “Is there a special activity you can do that makes the day feel unique?”
Now is an ideal time to celebrate in your own way, free from conflicts, judgment or the weight of expectations.
Get a Jumpstart on Your To-do List
Having a sense of accomplishment, like diving into a home project during the holidays, can really make a difference when you’re feeling a bit solitary, Winston said.
Whether it’s finally tackling that long-overdue DIY project or sprucing up your space with some jolly decorations, there’s something incredibly fulfilling about creating something with your own hands. It not only gives you a sense of purpose but also keeps your mind engaged and distracted from any holiday blues.
Plus, when you step back and admire your handiwork, it’s hard not to feel a swell of pride!
Consider the Past Year
Taking some time for yourself in solitude can be a game-changer as you gear up for the new year or reflect on the past year. It’s like giving your mind a little retreat, allowing you to sift through all the chaos and really think about what worked, what didn’t and what you want to bring into the future.
“Especially for [the] new year, people love to reflect on the previous year,” Williams said. “And doing that in an intentional, structured way and even outlining the ways they want the new year to be different or even citing specific goals for the new year.”
Change the Way You See Things
Winston recommends combining actions with a positive mindset - thinking mindfully - to help deal with feelings of loneliness.
He defines mindfulness as focusing on what we’re experiencing right now with an open mind, curiosity and a willingness to accept those experiences. He emphasizes that it’s about learning to live in the present instead of getting caught up in the past or future.
During times of change, everything may seem and feel different. Clinical psychologist Dr. Adam Brown mentioned to CNN that there’s no need for the holidays to look or feel the same as they did in previous years.
Show Kindness to Others
Winston says that it’s helpful to remember that not all those who are spending their holidays surrounded by people are having a good time. While social gatherings and celebrations often paint a picture of joy and togetherness, the reality can be quite different for some individuals.
They may feel overwhelmed, anxious or even isolated in a crowd, struggling with personal issues or simply feeling disconnected from the merriment around them. The pressure to appear happy can sometimes intensify feelings of loneliness, making the holidays a challenging time for those already dealing with emotional struggles.
As we dive deeper into the holiday season, it’s important to reach out to our friends and loved ones. We should make sure that those who may be hiding their true feelings behind a smile know they are not alone, even if we are spending the time by ourselves.
A simple conversation or a genuine gesture of kindness can go a long way in reminding someone that they are cared for, even amid the hustle and bustle of holiday cheer.